|
Launching a Thousand Kick-Bans and a few Fragmentation Clams |
Some people are said to be married to their computers. I’m not really married to mine, nor am I an ub3r-l33t h4xx0r with no life outside the console and computer. Rather, I’m an Internet junkie and a Lyncher with no life outside the forums and IRC. I’m also considering changing the status of the first phrase as well. Maybe I’ll take my CPU to the marriage ceremony and get married to it. I spend so much time with it as it is, it would only be fitting. ^_~ Until a faster processor comes along, of course. Then I’ll be switching over there so fast, it’ll be like I’d never seen the first one in my life. Fickle love!
People often ask me if I have a
life. ^_^ This annoys me to
no end. I do get exercise, I
protest. I push the F5 (refresh) button as fast as I can, and at 80 wpm,
that’s pretty fast. ^_^ I
get my exercise when I can, you see?
Of course, when you’re up at 12 o’clock midnight, trying to see
the new comics that the evil, evil cartoonists have failed to post, you
lose a lot of weight, and your pupils get really small.
Don’t get the wrong idea—the
Internet can be romantic and emotional even if you don’t go into a
lovesick teenage chat room. Just
check out the webcomic people. There
are lonely people all over the world tonight, just like me, whimpering and
clutching convulsively at the keyboard.
They have been waiting all weekend for a new comic after a tortuous
week of guest strips, and when they see the words “No Comic Today”
flash across the screen, that’s it for them.
They collapse onto the floor, sobbing, and drown their sorrows in
lemonade. It’s a vicious
cycle, and I encourage you to try it.
It does wonders for your pent up emotions.
When I first discovered AIM, I
fell in love. I stayed up all
night talking to people, and abusing anime similes.
And then I discovered IRC, which stands for I Rule Canada. ^_^ Aah.
It was love at second sight. Although
I haven’t been able to spend as much time with it as I’d like to, I
know that when I grow up, I want to be a kick-banning Op of the Wild West.
^___^ No boring office job for me!
Online, you can be whomever you
want, and you’re free to express yourself as you please.
When engaged in a role-playing-game, you can be as strong or as
weak as you want, as masculine and feminine and even choose the species of
creature you are, and your superpowers.
Josh Phillips is a butt-kicking femme-fatale online—sort of the
Ruri Hoshino of the gaming world. Except sexier and more lethal.
Online, the only thing that limits you is your 14.4k modem.
w00t! #Avalon 0wnz j00, anyway.
There’s an honor code of
conduct, of course—you can’t really deceive people to no good. And if you violate it, you get a leegload of angry people
after your butt. This is not
to say that you cannot be a butt-kicking femme fatale.
Quite the contrary. Most
of the people on IRC are pretty cool.
They don’t allow bad jokes in front of the “youngsters” in
the channel, and trolls, people who cause a lot of trouble, are
kick-banned pretty quickly. As
one of the younger people on #avalon, I am known as “the face who
launched a thousand kick-bans”. ^_~ The mods are pretty protective
there.
And although my parents chastise
me for not learning another language fluently, I do have a new language,
and that is l33t. l33t sp34k,
literally “elite speak”, is the universal language of wannabe-h4xx0rs
and used sparingly by real h4xx0rs who use it to make fun of the wannabes. For example, in IRC, if I were to say /me BONKS Chaos on the
head with a mailing tube, TehLaser goes “TehLaser lo|35 l33t
fr4gm3n747i0n (l4m5 |n McM'5 g3n3r4l d1r3(710n”*, which translates as
TehLaser 0wnz j00, f00! People
who take l33t sp34k seriously should be sent to an insane asylum, like
#4tt or #sinfest.
Current Issue
September
February
March
April
May
June