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The Times Were Good, And The Salad Was Noodle-y |
This year has been like many years before. The only difference is I am less irritable and have more body hair. I can almost hear the "EWWW!"s. To avoid arousing more disgust, I will not mention that again. This year has not been good. Don't get the impression that it has been from the light tone of this introduction. This year has been drudgery at its worst, and I have felt since about November that school has turned into a war of attrition in which I am the Confederacy of late 1864 and the school is the Union Army. Damned Yankees! Umm…anyhoo, School was at its dastardly worst this year, and as I HAVE NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL, my year in review will consist of just school and school related activities. And if you didn't catch that this was going to be a year in review you really should start paying more attention.
To review before beginning (which may just blow your mind depending on how you take that clause), Sophomore year kicked mondo butt. I originally thought that Junior year would continue this tubular-ness. And it did, for the first month or so. I had some friends that I created last year (that sounds odd, but I can't think of a better way of phrasing it), I had some new friends which I made this year (I don't think "made" is a good word for it either), and I had a generally cheery disposition. But all good things must come to an end, which is an overused phrase, considering IT IS ONE OF THE MOST DEPRESSING IN THE LANGUAGE.
First off, school sucks and there is no amount of friends in the world, nor any magnitude of cheeriness that will ever change it. And there is nothing worse than school in October. Nothing. The fact that we actually come to school in October is bad enough; being assigned actual work is indicative of sadism. (Oh, I could have just said sadistic, but why use one word when 3 will make it less clear?) And then being assigned group projects during October…I cannot think of words to describe it, at least not ones that are printable here. And besides, none of the smart folks like it when I complain about projects, because it is a rare and eventful occasion when I actually do work on them (or on anything for that matter).
Well, nothing really event-wise happened from September to December, except my birthday, which is always an event to be celebrated world-wide. Oh, and there was 9-11, but I'd rather not talk about that, as serious things should always be dealt with in a focused and specific manner, not in the general way in which I am doing the rest of this article. I passed a lot of history tests in this time, got people who wanted my help with history, and figured out that I can scratch "teacher" off the professions I wish to go into. Well, I was glad to offer my services (which sounds too much like I was a 2 cent prostitute.)
By December, it was clear things were going south. For the first time in my life, I had to write something that had to be more than 4 pages. For all of you who know me even slightly, you know I don't like work and it doesn't like me. Anyway, I wrote the whole thing the day before it was due, and I also agreed to edit 5 other people's papers. The funny thing was, I didn't mind editing the other people's; I minded having to write the thing myself. But December ended on a high note, what with Christmas and all, so I was about as prepared for the onslaught that was to come as the French were for the Germans in…eh…pick a war.
I don't remember much of the first days of January. What I remember is the day we got the aforementioned (there lies pseudo-intellectualism) term papers back. Not fun, not in the slightest. You may, judging by EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE, think I am an insensitive butthead, and in most cases, you're right on. But there's something about people getting very upset over bad grades on essays that I edited that even begins to crack and melt my heart of stony ice. Anyway, that was the Worst Day of the Year, and to keep the light tone from crumbling, I will not mention it again.
February, March, and April are not worth mentioning, just continuing descent into Hell. It should be noted that it was at this time I began to think that instead of "Enter to learn, go forth for service" the inscription above the main door should read "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." May, on the other hand; well, my heart was not exactly sore with sighing, sighing for the May. I had STAR testing, GSE for history, SAT, and probably some other stuff I have thankfully forgotten. I also got the worst grade I have ever gotten on an essay, which, well, doesn't exactly shiver my timbers. But, whatever, school is almost over. (Sorry for the weak ending, I have like 3 projects to do.)