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Airline Gunfight |
I have been thinking recently about the events on September 11, and what should be done in order to ensure that a terrorist can never again use an airplane as a bomb. The federal government has authorized the spending of $500 million dollars to help the airline industry to fortify cockpits. President Bush has authorized spending between $100 and $150 million dollars for states whose governors authorize the use of national guard troops to augment security at commercial airports. The government has also authorized in excess of $3 billion dollars in order to ensure that the airlines continue to operate. Those poor businesses. The point to all of these statistics is this: look at all of this spending. What if there were a cheap solution that would provide travel safe from terrorism? Well there is. Every passenger should be armed.
The
pilots support carrying weapons, but why stop there?
Every person should be issued a handgun when they board the plane.
So what would happen if some fanatic got up with a razor blade and
tried to take over the plane? He
would be shot down. And what
if he tried to take over the plane with the gun he was issued?
He would be shot down. What
if someone tried to shoot someone for no reason?
He would be shot down. The
plane would then be able to continue onto its destination and land without
even a delay in the flight. The
cleanup crew would be equipped to handle the rest.
Many
people I have talked to say, “I don’t know how to use a gun.”
Well, I have a solution. Instead
of showing people how to fasten their seatbelts, the flight attendants
could explain how the guns work. Oxygen masks will no longer come down in
case of emergency; bandoleers of ammo will fall down instead. And what
about the people who are too stupid to figure out how to wear their
seatbelts? In event of turbulence, to loosely quote Ebenezer Scrooge,
“Let them die and decrease the surplus population.” It’s sort of airline Darwinism.
Of
course, there are several dangers involved in allowing guns on airplanes,
such as accidental deaths, but it is much better for a few hundred people
to die without meaning than a few thousand.
There is no real risk to the airplane if someone fires a gun inside
because the high-velocity ammunition designed to be used
in airplanes doesn’t penetrate the aluminum shell of the plane. And even if a bullet did go through, the pilots could just
fly lower where there is more air pressure.
The
important fact is that although it is arguable that passengers will be
safer on airplanes if everyone has a gun, there will be no way in the
future that an airplane will be able to be used as a bomb.
And for all of you gun shy liberals, I will leave you with a simple
question. Who would you
rather have on your side in a fight?
The million mom march or angry members of the NRA?