10. Redline (2007): Trendy cash-ins are so much fun to talk about. For those of you fortunate to have not seen this movie, here is the main plotline. It features high class cars modded out with lights, spray paint, and CGI engine effects, that race in an underground league. The film features loud noises, laughable acting, undercover cops, guns and best of all, many pointless crashes. The plot and characters are overshadowed and even irrelevant, for the only point of watching is seeing the luxury cars around which the plot was built. If I just wanted to see luxury cars, I would just watch my screensaver. Now, some may argue that the point of a car movie will be the cars; this assumption is incorrect. The point of car movies is to build on suspense through the use of speed, thrills and genuine care about the driver(s) so that the viewers can see themselves in the passenger seat. This movie fails in all those areas.

9. Delta Farce (2007): To be honest, the success of this movie comes down to whether or not you find Larry the Cable Guy funny. It would be easier to run out in a thunderstorm with an anvil strapped to your back and attempt to dodge rain than find anything remotely humorous in this obnoxious blowout of a movie. Since the writers could not actually produce a clever satire of the Iraq War, they decided to drop Larry and friends in Mexico, where in the style of The Three Amigos (and when I say style I mean plagiarizing), they believe that they are actually in the Middle East and throw around mispronounced military terms, childish fart jokes and whatever else they can to antagonize the audience. Soldiers were offended, women were offended, Latinos were offended, gays were offended and I’m offended, because this tasteless and unfunny affliction should never have been green lit.

8. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009): The original 1995 film was terrible, so why would anyone bother with another adaptation? That is the question that probably everyone asked when they watched this film. The first one was actually pretty funny, with audiences  laughing at the goofy one-liners and the Van Damme shenanigans; there was plenty of effort that was commendable at the time. This recent movie, however, made the same viewers wonder how long the filmmakers took to make this. For a movie based on a game about fighting and flinging hadokens, yoga fires and sonic booms across the screen like an Olympic javelin thrower, this movie is surprisingly boring and has downright pitiful fight scenes. The worst part is the effects. Even an amateur can video edit and animate better effects than Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. How can someone get away with such atrocities?

7. Catwoman (2004): Having little to nothing to do with any of the excellent stories in the comics, Catwoman instead is about a girl who dies only to be resurrected by a cat god; that’s pretty much it (Sounds like The Crow). Halle Barry does a decent job, but she struggles with a weak character. The film is bogged down by lack of direction, pathetic CGI and terrible action scenes. Also, the writing feels almost unnatural, making for a huge disconnect between the viewer and the movie. For example, for a person who has been resurrected and gains all of these catlike powers, Halle Barry just goes with the whole situation and starts whipping people immediately.

6. Rollerball (2002): Remember the original movie from 1975, which combined excellent satire of corporate monopolies with epic roller skate and motorbike action? This movie is not even close to that level. Pathetic acting, a boring plot and an uninspired protagonist are just the pinnacle of this imposing mountain of neanderthal droppings engrossed in heavy metal, skateboarding, illogical gore and enough cameos to rival Last Action Hero.

5. Disaster Movie (2008): Proving once again that the best way to kill any joke, movie or reference is to have Friedberg and Sheltzer make a whole movie about it. Disaster Movie can be summarized just by reading the title. Like all the other movies they have made, the formula here is 20 thousand cups of references, 500 gallons of bodily fluids and gases, and no story or humor whatsoever. Guys, you do realize that the whole point of satire is to actually have something to say, right? You can’t just have the chipmunks eat people and expect laughter. I wasn’t expecting much after all the movies they made, but at least have one joke that’s worthwhile. Just one. Please.

4. Extreme Ops (2002): Here’s the plot: a bunch of snowboarding “homedogs” (It actually says that on the box cover) being chased by terrorists. It is pretty obviously lacking in the plot department. However, it is followed in suit by explosions, dialogue most likely quoted from six year olds, and characters that act more like archetypes than actual humans: the main guy, the sex appeal, the best friend, the comic relief and so on. Of course, this film has its own archetype as well: The Trash.

3. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002): Heavily considered one of the worst movies of all time, Ballistic is a film that reeks of boredom with more plot holes than a stack of Swiss cheese riddled by a plethora of tommy guns. These aren’t just the result of your average nitpicking, these are holes so large they make the movie absolutely impossible to comprehend. The acting is just a mockery and even something that’s supposed to be as exciting as an explosion is rendered boring. That’s all there is to it -it’s just illogical and boring.

2. Alone in the Dark (2005): May I present the fantastically low bred director, Uwe Boll. He uses German tax cut exploits to continue making plenty of money even when nobody sees his movies. He beats up critics who say his movies suck (unless they actually know how to fight, then he just calls in sick). However, he does have one talent: he can make a movie with too much plot and still not have one; Alone in the Dark is the best (as in worst) example of this. Having nothing to do with the classic video game, the film is about Christian Slater who goes around combating paranormal activity with plot holes. There’s some monsters in a cave, people shoot them… that’s it. The most story you ever get is in a painful nine minute long text scroll in the beginning. I would recommend this movie to sadistic masochists who aren’t phased by sliding on hot lava while getting rained on by thunderbolts.

1. Battlefield Earth (2000): You thought Alone in the Dark is bad? Just watch this. It’s basically a post apocalyptic world with cavemen flying F-22 Raptors and battling John Travolta. That may sound so bad it’s awesome, but no, it is nothing but a true failure. Most of the scenes have little to no sound and show a guy drinking water, riding a horse or performing some other boring activity. Despite being barely under 2 hours, the lack of anything happening makes it seem 4+ hours long. One of the worst things about the film is that literally every take in this film is taken with a Dutch Angle and is randomly tinted in random colors. What’s a Dutch Angle, you say? Go out with this magazine at 2 in the morning, tilt it upwards 50 degrees, then turn it about 25 degrees; that’s the average scene of this 2 hour movie. Of course, the plot holes are deep and plentiful, such as how Earth was conquered in 3 minutes but a few dozen cavemen managed to gun down hundreds of aliens and explode their planet Onderon-style with just one atom bomb. This film gives me a shameful feeling, like you want to put the volume on minimum and turn the screen to the corner so that nobody can witness you watching the worst movie of the decade.